life in progress...

no more drama

Its been a strange month back here. Several people I know have broken up or gotten separated from their partners. From the outside looking in, its got me wondering,

"So what makes a relationship last?"

Relationships are complex, aren't they? Or do people make them that way out of boredom, lost of interest?

From what I've seen of successful relationships, they can be very simple. It has a lot to do with communication, mutual respect, trust, and a complete acceptance of the other person, of who they are, not trying to change them into a version that you think is better. Easier said than done, I know. It takes effort. The fact that it takes effort though does not make it complex. Counting from 1 to 1 million is challenging, but that is fairly simple. It just requires a great deal of patience and fortitude. Little steps at a time.

People only change of their own volition anyways, not for anyone else. In the end, they must see that there is some kind of advantage for them. It may sound harsh, but people are selfish. This is not a bad thing, its logical.

Example: "What is best for ME?", "What is best for MY wife?", "What is best for MY kids?" , "What is best for MY family?"

There is reflection of self in all of these statements. So for a relationship to work, you do put your self-interest first. That self-interest may of course include that of your partner's and your family's. You are then willing to make sacrifices and compromises for the greater outcome for all involved, but in the end it still boils down to "What are the advantages for me?" "What will make me happier?"

So cut the drama and be honest, we're all selfish. "What's in it for me?"

Hey! Where's the "Love"? you ask.... Love is selfish. Love also fades, what's left is Loyalty and treating the other person fairly.

posted by snowtweety @ 9/16/2007 10:00:00 AM